Sunday, June 22, 2008

7 Odd Things about my S.O. [OLD POST]

From the Mixed Up Files of M. J. Honky. -
note: A very old blog posting written back in Februrary that I never finished, but finally got around to finishing. See my previous post about old unfinished blog entries for more info.

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Hello.

Happy New Year. Both western, and chinese. I haven't posted in several months. But damn that Rita. She tagged me with a meme, and I'm powerless in not replying back.

The meme is 7 RANDOM/WEIRD THINGS ABOUT YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER. Those who know AJ probably already know some or all of these, but hopefully there might be a few surprises:

1. A.J. is completely clueless to popular culture (there are a few exceptions - Star Wars, Madonna, and few television shows like Alias and Buffy.). usually it's completely ignorance though - 80's popular culture, 90's pop culture, even today. Ever since our subscription to US WEEKLY ran out (I scammed my way into getting it for three years, but alas, they finally caught on and cancelled it on me), AJ has been clueless about celebrities (he never read the magazine. but it's surprising how much information is on the cover, which he would see when he brought it in from the mail).

Furthermore he has no real interest in cultivating any of this knowledge. This is not just current popular culture. I can understand people avoiding reading about the latest Britney or Paris gossip (AJ at least know who these people are, though if he ran into them at Urth Cafe he probably wouldn't recognize them). I made a comment today about Duran Duran's The Reflex. He didn't get the reference. I further try to explain it to him, including singing "the reflex. flex-flex-flex-flex..." He looked at me blankly. Crickets chirped. it was painful the silence. Painful I tell you. Then again, what do you expect from someone who grew up in the 80's and has never seen Goonies, Heathers, or Desperately Seeking Susan.



2. AJ was so obsessed with STAR WARS as a child that he developed his own choreographed dance to the Storm Troopers. He refuses to show me the dance. This makes me sad, but I have learned to let it go.

tacstormtrooperpose.jpg

3. When he was a small child he used to eat balls of American cheese. He would peel off the plastic and roll up the balls in his hand. Unfortunately he would never actually wash his hands before he did this, and he was often perplexed by why the balls turned black. However, this did not stop him from eating the balls.

4. AJ also had a crush on Wesley Crusher from Star Trek: The Next Generation when he was a child. But then didn't we all?

5. AJ absolutely hates the taste of celery and green peppers. He's actually not that fond of dried cuttlefish either, but that's an asian thing, so it's understandable I guess. But celery? I've threatened to make a celery/green pepper casserole, but I know he would probably throw up.

6. AJ drinks glasses of water so fast that it has functioned as a parlor trick on more than one occasion. Big gulp size glasses of water. Down in seconds. It's actually quite impressive. Less impressive is how often he has to visit the restroom.

7. When AJ was a small child he wanted to grow up to drive a purple trash truck. He would sit on the street corner and wait for the garbage men to come and collect the trash, and when they did, he would tell them that one day he was going to grow up and be just like them. They loved him for that.

This also explains his absolute love of the TV show Sanford and Sons.

Oh a bonus one:

8. AJ rarely sings. He claims this is because his ex-wife (oh yeah, he used to be married, does that count as a rare/weird item as well? double bonus!) once brought up the fact that she was going to tryout for a church choir. The church had a policy to let anyone join the choir that tried out. Of course, his wife, turned to him once she found out and said point blank "but they may make an exception to that rule and not let you in, once they hear your voice..."

Ouch!

This, of course, has made AJ ever so sensitive and self-conscious about singing. He used to not be as self-conscious though. In fact, as a child when his mom took him grocery shopping (something he loved to do) he would sit in the grocery cart and when they checked out he would sing to each check-out clerk the line "Hey you SEXY THING" as loud as he could.

Of course the check-out clerks all loved him. In fact, at one point his father took him grocery shopping and had forgotten his Driver's License. When he went to take out his check book (back when you could actually write a check to the grocery store) they refused it at first. AJ had wandered off to look at the candy aisle, and when he came back around, they saw him and immediately said "Oh your AJ's Father! OF COURSE we'll take your check!"

Since hearing this little anecdote I've tried to get him to sing "Hey you SEXY THING" to me everytime he sees me, but he refuse. I think it's because his ex-wife had just embarrassed him too much.

However, there is one exception to his singing reticence. It's his weakness for John Cougar Mellancamp.

I discovered this singing kryptonite one time when we were discussing a couple that we met at the black tie fundraiser that we go to every year. We were seated next to them, and their names were Todd and Diane.

Afterwards, as we decompressed from the event I mentioned that their names sounds really familiar. Wasn't there a song that named checked a couple named Todd and Diane?

AJ looked at me as if I had uttered the most blasephemous curse EVER and then point blanked stated "NO. It was JACK and DIANE." and then proceeded to sing me "Little ditty about Jack and Diane...Two American kids growin' up in the heartland...Jacky's gonna be a football star..Diane debutant backseat of Jacky's car..."



Apparently growing up in Indiana, as a born and bred Hoosier, makes it a requirement that no matter how much you hate to singing, or have no interest in popular culture outside of Star Wars, you must love and have commited to your memory all songs by John Cougar Mellancamp.

And those are 8 random/weird things about my Significant Other.

Since this is a meme I am suppose to tag other people with it.
Since I don't think a lot of people actually read my blog anymore as I post so sporadically (not that I had that many to begin with) I doubt they will do this meme. But if they are reading, here's who I tag:

Ed
Karen (and her super secret blog)
Megan

and that is all. I have no more friends.

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5 Comments:

At 4:29 PM, Anonymous Julie said...

My fave is 8 :)

 
At 9:09 PM, Blogger S. B. Hadley said...

I read your blog, bitch!

 
At 11:35 PM, Blogger jackhonky said...

huh. apparently you do Hadley. Thanks for the lovely note. ;)

 
At 6:03 AM, Blogger Rita said...

Hahahahaha! Your post made me laugh, and now these comments make me laugh! Ah, so lovely.

I share #1 in common with AJ. I'd say 98% of my pop culture knowledge comes from US Weekly covers at the grocery store, and it is amazing how you need no more. Also, I grew up in the 80s and have never seen Goonies, Heathers, or Desperately Seeking Susan.

#4. But didn't we all.
(!!)

#'s 2 & 3--awesome. hahahahaha

#'s 7 and 8--particularly amusing. I have heard about the purple trash truck, but that's always cute. And "Oh! You sexy thing!" is HYSTERICAL.

As is Jack and Diane.

I LOVE IT!! :D
r

p.s. I got tagged for another meme. You know that means you're next.

It's your own fault for being so entertaining.

 
At 2:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ! Come ON! don't deprive us of your Storm Troopers dance.

Was Desperately Seeking Susan considered a good movie?

e

 

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