Saturday, June 24, 2006

The Next Step.

As with all couples, AJ and I have had our shares of ups and downs. We've been together for over six years, and we've watched our friends get married and have kids (well no one close, but second tier and third tier friends have kids). We've also had a few friends break up, and one or two go through divorce. And though it has come up on several occasions as to when AJ and I might possible take our relationship to the next level, neither AJ nor I have been willing to take that next step.

Until today.

It started out as a mellow day - especially for the Saturday of Pride weekend. AJ and I had gone out dancing the night before with our friends Peter and Grant. Club Dragon - for Asians and their "friends." I have to make a note here to mention that I have never before seen so many unattractive white men trying their luck picking up the twinkie Asian boys. And though there certainly were a large percentage of equally unattractive Asian men (empirically unattractive - not just unattractive to me) there was a definite number of attractive Asian men - a significantly higher percentage than for the nonAsian population.

And as a sidenote, the number of really bad hairstyles there was astronomical too. Why oh why are people still trying to rock the mullet? So last year. And don't get me started on the sad sad people with the fashion victim fauxhawk. Trying too hard much?

Regardless, AJ and I had fun and ended up dancing in the upstairs area where they played hip hop (and hip hop-ish music). We raised the roof to Snoop and Missy Elliott. The crowd was loving the Kelis, but we ended up leaving just as they started to play my current favorite tune CRAZY by Gnarls Barkley. Ah well.

Grant was perplexed as to when I would actually listen to this sort of music outside of a club - as I was having a riotious good time (not that he wasn't having a good time but you know, not the same sort of intensity that I seemed to be having bouncing up and down all over the place).

"I mean, you wouldn't listen to this music when you are are lounging on the couch reading Newsweek would you? Wouldn't classical music be more appropriate?" he asked me over the thumping bass. There in lies the difference between Grant and I. He apparently lounges on his couch reading Newsweek while listening to classical music. I bounce around the house listening to Missy Elliott, blogging, cleaning, or surfing the web. I haven't read a Newsweek since high school where I was forced to read them for research paper reference. Nowadays if I need the news, I'm online at the New York Times Online,, or getting my local info I haven't read an actual printed news rag in years.

And so I said as much and he nodded in understanding. We live very different lives.

So AJ and I ended up sleeping in a little bit on Saturday and woke up late, lingering in bed. When we finally dragged ourselves out of bed, we met up with Annie at Cafe Flore. We chit chatted, had some coffee, ate a muffin and then took off. I had a conference call with my parents as they are currently in Germany. They have discovered the wonders of SKYPE so we now have weekly free conference calls. Though strangely they keep on calling it SKY-PEE, instead of SKYP (rhyming with type or ripe). Oh well.

After the conference call we met back up with Annie - now wearing the DIESEL jeans she had bought in the interim. Apparently Diesel is having a sale and she scored some low rise. They did make her ass look great, but she was little self concious about the butt cleavage they created as she sat down. We assured her that it wasn't too noticeable. Besides the place we had met up for brunch was filled with gay men (it was the Castro - during Pride weekend) and hence, I doubted that any of them were really going to notice her butt crack.

And after a lovely brunch (which would have been even more lovely had the service not be rude and annoying.), AJ and my relationship took the next step forward.

It was after brunch AJ and I bought a plant.

Yes a PLANT.

This is a whole new level of commitment in our relationship. We have never owned a living thing before. In fact we had talked for ages about how our house needed another living creature in it. How a plant would be not only great feng-shui for the places, but would brighten up our household. But had never gotten around to it. We had never taken on the responsibility of another living lifeform totally dependent on us.

But now we have. We entered the store Hortica next to Luna where we had brunched with Annie. We had mentioned to her that we were thinking of getting a plant and she got all excited and decided she wanted one too. We took a quick look around the place but were a bit confused by the number of options that were presented. That's when I enlisted the help of the proprietor of the establishment.

"Hello. We are looking to buy our first plant."

He seemed amused. We explained that we had never owned a plant at all, and he seemed a bit surprised. He asked what we were looking for, and our response "something we won't kill." seemed a little vague for him. He replied "Well why don't you look around and then ask me about a plant that you are interested in."

Annie pointed out one plant that he said was very hearty and she ended up buying that. We picked a nice looking vine like one, and he said that one would need more direct sunlight and a little more maintence. We immediately ruled it out. We then asked him about a more waxy leafed one (my theory being it was sitting on the floor, so it had to be more sturdy and resilient than the ones on the shelves or nearer to the sun). He told us the name of it, but I immediately forgot. Nevertheless he said it was very sturdy, didn't need tons of light, and was low maintence. We thought this was perfect for us.

I had AJ pick the one out of the four or five plants of that variety sitting on the floor. I figure that since he was picking it out, he'd bond with it immediately.

After buying soil, a larger pot, plant food, and the plant we left feeling very much more committed to each other due in large part to the fact that we now were responsible for a living lifeform. Together.

We have a plan now. First a plant. Then a goldfish. Then a house. Then a dog. Then a kid. Somewhere between house and dog or dog and kid, probably a commitment ceremony or marriage depending on what the law allows.

In the meanwhile, we have a plant to take care of. We already named it. His name is Giles (after the Buffy watcher - he's stable and smart, but quirky with an edge just Giles was on the show). I just hope we don't kill it.

Watch for a birth announcement coming soon.


At 2:08 AM, Blogger Jon said...

I used to have a plant, it was Pepe the Ficus. He died.

RIP, Pepe--

the funny thing about Pepe was that he was given to me by my then girlfriend ( I was 19,m don't judge me!) ^_~

At 8:52 AM, Blogger jackhonky said...

Ah. Perhaps Pepe was a metaphor for your relationship. He was not long for this world.

I hope Giles doesn't die.

At 12:28 PM, Blogger Felisa said...

Holy cow, congratulations!


I'm just glad I'm not the only adult who doesn't have plants. The closest thing we have to a plant is the mold growing on some old tofu in the fridge. I do not understand plants. I cannot not kill a plant. I bought a basil plant at TJoe's a couple of weeks ago and it immediately died.

At 4:25 PM, Anonymous Rita said...

Ok, first of all . . .

Irvin, you d@mn near gave me a heart attack with this entry, and you know it! Last night Damon was like, "Read Irvin's blog!" (which was already odd; apparently he's now so engaged in blogs he's beating me to reading entries??) which just added to my scare as I read, not knowing where this was going.

I was like, Irvin wouldn't announce they suddenly got engaged over his blog, would he? As his way of telling us?????????

But now I see. You got a plant.

And that is a big deal, actually. Too.

Of course, you know what I have to say about plants. I'm growing one, too!!!! I'm growing my Brita pitcher!! And it's awesome, cuz I don't have to do anything except observe. I don't even have to refill the water. It magically stays! And the pitcher keeps turning greener!

Damon kinda gets mad about it. He says this doesn't count on any level. But baby steps, I say! Here I am, growing something on purpose, and I actually care about its progress!

It's not kind to hate.

Third, since we're reminiscing about plants we've killed, I will say I've killed two in my time (only the first of which was mine). The first was an orange mint plant my first bf and I bought together at a renaissance faire, during high school. I named it Sebastian, after a character in Twelfth Night, and I gave it coffee every morning, and he grew like a maniac. Literally a couple inches higher every day. (The ren faire people warned me he would need to be repotted insanely, too, so I think this wasn't because of the coffee.) I actually did repot once, then went to college. My brother reported Sebastian died the saddest, slowest, most horrible death by strangulation in his own pot you can imagine. All giant and sickly and choking.

The second plant I killed was D's, from a vacuum-packed bonsai tree seed-with-soil kit someone gave him for his college graduation, which he suddenly planted five years later. Miraculously, within days it sprouted!

I would hear these cooing sounds I had never heard before in my life, all "a ka keh keh," coming from the other room, and that was D, checking out the progress of these tiny, sprouty little green things.

I was not terrifically supportive. I felt threatened—and afraid. (Not threatened like, "Oh no, Damon's going to love this plant more than me." Threatened, like, "Oh no! Damon wants a baby!!")

So I ignored his weird side project, and kind of gave it the evil eye.

Anyway. Apparently D saw fit to use one of my huge art books as a prop for the tiny potted seed, to help it get more light (cuz we lived in a garage in SF with dinky windows), without telling me. A couple days later, I saw the bottom corner of this book sticking out from behind the window blinds and was like, "What the h3ll is this doing here?" and yanked it, and there was a heartstopping clattering and a little upturned pot appearing out of nowhere, no sprouty green bit to be found anywhere in the now jumbled soil.

"OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I stuffed the soil back in and hoped, somewhere in there, was a teeny two-leafed bit that would just know which way was up and surface again. I propped the tiny pot back on my art book and everything.

But when D came back, I heard his gasp and confusion and lamenting, and of course I confessed everything. I felt like the worst human being ever. I also expressed my fervent hope about the sprout re-surfacing, but many days passed, and . . . nothing.

Of course Damon said it didn't matter. He denied the cooing had significance of any kind.

. . .

Maybe this is why he can't bring himself to love my Brita.


At 12:20 AM, Blogger Ed Tep said...

I am so having a flashback to Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle when Pete and Natalie decide to take their relationship to the next level. Congratulations on the new addition. Be sure to love it. And feed it. And call it George. (Er. I mean Giles).

At 1:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations! I'm sure Giles will be really happy in your apartment.

My sister charbroiled her plants on her heater. She's still watering them, and they're crispy and brown. I might write her an anonymous letter and let her know her plants are dead.

At 8:47 AM, Blogger Annie said...

that is SO untrue! buying the plant was my idea, and you guys decided you wanted one too! please.


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