Friday, March 23, 2007

I'll have a Gym Martini - Shaken not Stirred.

Today's gym-tastic experience included me running, not one, but TWO 10 minute miles (with a short 3 minute break in between).

This is a milestone in many ways, mostly because I've never done it before, and mostly because I have actually NEVER been able to run a mile. "Running the mile" in gym class in grade school, junior high, and high school was always the bane of my existence. Each year, once a year, we were taken out to the track and told to run around it four times, and we would be timed. And each year, I would have to stop halfway around the first lap and walk the rest of the way.

I was always the last person across the finish line, along with the class fat girl, Patty (I'd like to say her nickname was Patty the Fatty but Patty wasn't her real name). Patty, by the way, also always ended my square dancing partner whenever we got to that section of the gym class. Patty and I could "allemande left" like no one else.

Looking back, I think Patty had the makings of a fag hag. But that goes without saying doesn't it?

Regardless, the personal triumph of actually being able to run a mile (granted the mile was on a treadmill and not outside, but still, I'll take what I can get) non-stop was doubled today by my two mile run. And that felt very empowering.

I also realized, while running said two miles, that Waterworld was playing on Bravo, and that the little girl in the movie was the same actress that plays Mac (the ersatz Willow) on Veronica Mars - Tina Majorino. I was ever so pleased to see that at least ONE person from that film was able to have a substainable career - even if it on an excellent but rarely watched show.

The gym, of course, was filled with the usual miscreants. The man with the onesy- wrestling suit was there, just starting his work out as I left. The cute but boring guy who AJ and I both agree on as being cute (but boring) was there as well. He once tried to invite us to join gay paintball. We declined. You'd think someone who does gay paintball and who looks cute wouldn't be boring. You'd be wrong. There were no aging porn stars today at the gym, but I did see the creepy white guy that lingers in the shower for long periods of time enter the locker room as I was leaving as well.Which is a good thing. He really creeps me out.

As I finished my workout though, I walked into the locker room to shower and change and as I entered I saw liquid on the ground, and heard someone mopping it up. As I rounded the corner, nearly bumping into the cleaning crew member, I heard the unmistakable sound of broken glass under my shoe.

So my question is this. What sort of IDIOT brings a bottle of Smirnoff Vodka to the gym and then drops it on the ground? And I'm not talking a little mini bottle like you would find on an airplane, or even a beer bottle size bottle - like it was Smirnoff Ice. I'm talking a CostCo size, 1.75 liter bottle of vodka. Shattered on the ground - in a locker room full of people walking around in various states of undress.

Who does this? The bottle obviously was not being carried in a paper/platsic bag (there was no bag on the ground) because then I might have understood, someone went to the store and picked up some Friday night supplies, and decided to go to the gym first. But no, there was no bag. In fact from the looks of the liquid on the ground, the bottle probably wasn't even complete full (1.75 liters is a lot of liquid). So apparently someone brought a half drunk CostCo size bottle of vodka to the gym and then proceeded to get hammered after their work out and then dropped it on the locker room floor where it shattered into a million pieces, so that everyone that is showering or changing can shred the feet.

Idiots. People are idiots.

At least the vodka was cheap Smirnoff. Had it been a better vodka it would have been even more of a waste.

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At 8:37 PM, Blogger The Minkz said...

She was also Deb in Napoleon Dynamite and is on Big Love, Tina Majorino gets the best roles.

At 11:06 PM, Blogger jackhonky said...

Yes, I knew all that. Napoleon Dynamite is a movie that AJ and I have ever intention of watching - we just haven't gotten around to it (I have in my DVD archive). And Big Love is on my Netflix queue....

Looking Tina Majorino up on, it also states that she is a trained opera singer, a professional dancer that has been teaching hip hop dance for the past 7 years, has a black belt in martial arts and is a techno geek just like her character on VM.

Damn. I feel like a total underachiever....

At 1:20 PM, Blogger Jon said...

How odd...unless he was going to a party after working out, perhaps? I find plain Stoli to taste better than either Grey goose or Vox, but I also don't drink that heavily.

Did you go to the Uniqlo store when you were in town? We're also getting 2 Muji stores, the first of which should be up and running by the start of the holiday rush late this fall :-)

At 4:12 PM, Blogger jackhonky said...

Shut up! TWO MUJI stores? Will they be carrying clothes to?

Now I have to go back to NY...

Yeah, I went to the Uniqlo store, but the only reason I wanted to go was to check out the "graphic tshirts" that were limited edt local artist designed shirts. Alas they were sold out. I did pick up some cheap cashmere sweaters though.

Sorry we didn't have a chance to hang out. Next time.

And actually I like Stoli - but my vodka of choice is Belvedere or Hangar One. But then I don't really drink that much either.

At 10:32 AM, Blogger Billy Farquhar said...

vodka in the locker room?!! I loves me some vodka but not while I'm working out (or showering for that matter)


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